For years, the spectre of shortage loomed. Pundits warned that Alberta could not exploit this vital resource forever. But now it’s done, and even Peter Lougheed has said that the provincial government wasn’t ready.
That dwindling resource: not oil and gas, but unemployed workers in Atlantic Canada. Where now will Alberta find the roofers, pipefitters and baristas that its booming economy depends on?
Alberta’s desperation is now becoming evident in Toronto. There was a visit last year by Edmonton Economic Development officials who admitted they had to attract Ontario workers now that Newfoundland was pretty much tapped out. And this summer a mobile sign in Etobicoke begged Humber College students to come out west to work in fast food. (Lodging supplied!)
Faced with this crisis, Alberta called a meeting. The Ministers’ Symposium on Building and Educating Tomorrow’s Workforce brought industry and labour together in September. Wal-Mart talked about encouraging retirees to think about a “second career.” (Hmm. Does anyone want a second career that’s more degrading than the first?)
A hot tub manufacturer, Blue Falls Manufacturing of Thorsby, tried training, bonuses and profit-sharing to keep its workers from running to the oilpatch. Meanwhile, Tim Hortons is promoting flexible work schedules under the banner, “Imagine a job that fits your life.” (Is it just me, or does the idea that slinging coffee “fits my life” sound frightening?) Clearly, there were more questions than answers at the symposium, which may be why the CBC ran a story called “Help wanted: Alberta asks for ideas on solving labour shortage.”
But help is on the way. As a public service, I convened my own symposium in the food court of the Royal Imperial Bank building in downtown Toronto. Participants were asked to donate to a fund to help Alberta employers hire more Ontarians (they both declined), and to come up with creative new ways Albertans could motivate Ontarians to move West. Here are some of those ideas:
• Move the mountains closer to Edmonton. (Or vice-versa.) Ontarians expect to be on the slopes in two hours or less.
• Stop bragging about how well-educated Albertans are. Lots of Ontarians do the Jumble and play Sudoku. They don’t want to hang out with brainiacs all the time.
• Could you grow a few more maple trees? As one easterner says, “Autumn is nice in Calgary, but most of the colour is yellow.”
• Make autumn last longer. Winter comes too soon in Alberta. (Note: this condition does not apply to Ontarians from north of Barrie. Which may explain why there are so few of them.)
• Could you create more jobs that don’t require knowing what “Devonian” means?
• Put the LRT lines underground so they feel like a real subway.
• Two words: street names.
• Be prepared to make friends with people who vote NDP.
• Rename “Trail” to “Expressway” or “Parkway” to have a more, well, civilized ring to them.
• When you’re finished sucking out all that oil, could you leave some holes behind for lakes? It’s a long drive to the cottage from Carstairs.
• Stop talking about pulling Alberta out of Con-federation. Ontarians dislike brinkmanship. Besides, we know that the Prairies and the Rockies were part of Canada before Alberta was. And we intend to stick to that argument for at least 18 months before we start agreeing that history is not destiny.
• Remember that history thing works both ways. Preston Manning recently said Alberta needs to attract “the very best people in any field – artists, theologians, philosophers, thinkers, musicians.” As Alberta puts its mark on newcomers, so are they likely to change Alberta.
• Don’t laugh at our Tilley hats.
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