Cupid Makes His Call

Feb 1, 2010

Murgatroyd: New companies should build an explicit policy regarding relationships inside the business. This doesn’t apply to small family businesses, operated by a husband and wife, but in larger organizations, where there could be significant policy decisions, hiring decisions, investment decisions that can be influenced by these kind of relationships, it needs to be explicit in the policy.

In power situations today, unlike typical situations of a generation ago, either gender can hold the power. Today we have to also think about same-sex relationships.

Douglas: The president and CEO needs to have a meeting with the senior manager to discuss the power imbalance. If there are potential conflicts in his or her relationship with the rest of the people reporting directly to him/her, the CEO should ask that person to either find a job with another company or, if the company is large enough, move to another position away from the team where the love interest works.

There should be a clear set of principles that the company has agreed it will operate under. One principle is integrity and another is respect. When you’re behaving with integrity, you’re showing respect to your team members. You can’t help it when you get hit by the love bug. But you are responsible for the consequences and for your actions involved with it. You have a responsibility to be accountable for your actions. If your feelings are genuine, you should say, “Am I really helping this person and their career, or is it all about me and what I want?” If you do respect that person and you really love them, you should start job-hunting.

I’m old-fashioned. I like the values of honour and valour and justice and respect.

Murgatroyd: The only solution is a rigorous policy that we don’t say yes to this – it’s just not acceptable. Since earlier times, we’ve had human rights issues and personal freedom and Charter of Rights issues, but now I think it’s difficult for both executives and managers and human resources professionals to do the right thing. They can be confused about what the right thing is – nfor the business and for other staff. There should be no question or doubt about the motives of the policies.

Power is a factor in some of these relationships, but in my experience often something else is going on. People might be on the rebound, in the middle of a divorce and looking for comfort; there can be a whole raft of reasons. Power is one of them and not to be dismissed, but it’s not always the central reason for some of these things. But where power is involved, it becomes more complex. If you have executives making decisions that are influenced by some illicit relationship, then that’s extremely dangerous for management. The consequences of the organization not acting can be very serious.

THE FINAL WORD
What seems clear is that office romances and liaisons are a fact of corporate life. They go on all of the time. Two of our panellists have had direct experience in meeting the challenges such relationships can bring to an enterprise. It’s also a situation that is underreported, perhaps because employers choose to look the other way, perhaps because they decide to cover up the situation to hide it from the outside world of customers and competitors.

In an era when many people work in high-intensity environments, with little time for much in the way of a social life outside of work, it’s inevitable that romantic relationships will develop. We should not be judgmental. People do fall genuinely in love. Many relationships that begin at the office lead to happy marriages.

But the best advice both for new entrepreneurs and for established corporations is to deal with the office romances before they happen. Know what’s best for the enterprise, write it into your policy manual, and make sure that all staff know and understand the principles involved.

Cupid never sleeps.