Top Business April Fool’s pranks
If you're gullible, April Fool's Day is a good day to call in sick
by Jim Kerr
It’s that time of year again!
Yes, April Fool’s Day is once again upon us. Whether you’re more of a small-scale office prankster or the mastermind behind your company’s April ruse, this is your time to shine. If you’re more the gullible type, it’s generally a good day to call in sick.
Either way, there have been some legendary April Fool’s Day pranks pulled over the years. Here are some of the top ones pulled off by businesses over the past few years:
The Wildrose Party
April 1, 2012 (Calgary, AB): Today Wildrose Leader Danielle Smith announced that if elected, a Wildrose government will begin negotiations to merge Alberta with the province of Saskatchewan.
“Alberta and Saskatchewan share many common values and concerns,” said Smith. “I believe that merger represents an important step forward for both provinces.”
The new province, to be named Saskberta, would also relocate Alberta and Saskatchewan’s capital cities to the border town of Lloydminster, which would be renamed Regimonton.
This merger presents a number of important economic benefits for Alberta, including access to a deep-water port to facilitate export of Alberta’s energy products, access to Canada’s largest oil can in Rocanville, SK, and significantly expanded parking.
“Alberta and Saskatchewan are both blessed with abundant natural resources, which is clearly an area we can better pursue as a single province,” said Smith. “We also have a shared commitment to eliminate pirate activity on the North Saskatchewan River.”
When asked about any downsides to the merger, Smith responded “Alberta is home to two outstanding NHL hockey teams, while Saskatchewan does not yet have a franchise. The first priority of a Wildrose government will be to secure a third NHL team which represents both provinces – I think the ‘Saskberta Grain Elevators’ would be a great name.”
Wildrose stands for cuddling small animals, drawing pictures with children, loving cake, and provocative public transport.
Edmonton Oilers/Edmonton Eskimos
Richard Branson has bought Pluto and intends to have it reinstated as a planet.
Sir Richard Branson is setting his sights on the final frontier in his latest business venture announced today.
In a universal first Sir Richard has revealed that he has bought the former planet of Pluto for an undisclosed sum.
As a firm supporter of small businesses Sir Richard is hoping to set an example for struggling entrepreneurs facing setbacks by having Pluto reinstated as an official planet, after its declassification by the International Astronomical Union in 1996.
Already at the forefront of space travel with Virgin Galactic, Sir Richard is having a special deep space vehicle built that will help bulk up Pluto to its required planetary mass.
Sir Richard Branson said: “Virgin has expanded into many territories over the years, but we have never had our own planet before. This could pave the way for a new age in space tourism.”
Virgin rocket scientist Professor Chelovek Protaprilia added: “The vehicle has a special harness to collect asteroids and space debris, which it will drag into Plutos gravitational field, increasing the planets mass.”
The mission, which is due for launch on April 1 2012, is due to take five years and, if successful, will lead to the first ever part human-created planet.
Customers to order the Plenta™ and Micra™ in stores in the U.S. and Canada this Fall
SEATTLE, April 1, 2010 –Starbucks announced today the introduction of two new beverage sizes in stores in the U. S. and Canada this Fall. The announcement follows a year of research and direct customer feedback through MyStarbucksIdea.com requesting even more choice in beverage size.
“Whether customers are looking for a large or small size, the Plenta and the Micra satisfy all U.S. and Canada customers’ needs for more and less coffee,” said Hugh Mungis, Starbucks VP of Volume. “Our size selection is now plentiful.”
Plenta™ and Micra™ to be featured in stores in the U. S. and Canada this Fall
Plenta™ (128 fl oz) and Micra™ (2 fl oz) cups arrive in Starbucks stores this Fall. Derived from Italian word for plentiful or small, the Plenta™ delivers coffee lovers record amounts of the world’s finest coffee beverages while the Micra™ delivers a quick and satisfying morsel of goodness.
Recognizing the potential impact the Plenta™ presents for municipal waste collection, Starbucks is also suggesting several subsequent uses for the Plenta™ cup post coffee enjoyment. Suggested usage options include popcorn receptacle, rain hat, perennial planter, lampshade or yoga block. The Micra also serves as a convenient milk dish for kittens, soft boiled egg cup or paper clip holder.